Conformity

So, another weekend. Another night by myself in front of the computer.
It's Halloween and I'm not at a party or social. I handed out candy (sexy candy) and took my brother out to get candy. I COULD have been, but I chose not too.
I chose not to because I hate drunk people. I can't stand being around them. They're obnoxious, loud, disrespectful and stupid. Another thing is, that they're not themselves. Drinking is becoming a serious problem with our generation and the one that is following. It is now associated with so many activities that when someone says "Let's go dance at the bar!", the next sentence said is usually "Where are we pregaming?!". There's no dancing anymore. There's drunk dancing. There's no "Hey let's hang out and so and so's house", it's "Hey, let's get fucked up and so and so's house, can I crash at your place after?"
What sickens me most though, are people who use alcohol because they're afraid of real human interaction. I bet that 94% of everyone you see at the bar, would not be dancing with the random person they've never seen before if they weren't drunk. No one would be randomly making out or having sex with their clothes on on the dance floor. People use alcohol to do the things they're too scared to do sober. Things they don't have the courage for. So they have to hide behind the state of inhebriation so, if things get out of hand, they just blame it on being 'wasted' or if it works out for them, they say they had the best time and met the most wonderful person. Well you didn't meet them, you met someone else. Now, this isn't ALL the time, but MOST of the time. If you have met someone at the bar, and it worked out in the end and you are dating and get along, great, i'll buy you two lunch. But, this rarely ever happens. Guys have certain intentions and girls get slutty. But it's okay to be slutty right? You're drunk and having fun, shit happens. (Fuck I hate feminists, as long as girls go around dressing up as a sexy ______ and flaunt their shit around and use their looks to get drinks, fuck off.).
Guys and girls use alcohol differently. I think that guys use it more responsibly, even though they get trashed more, they get trashed with friends and usually at someones house where it's all friends. You rarely see a guy that's completely fucked up at the bar unless he's a hobo or a creep. Guys don't mind embarassing themselves with their friends around but at the bar, they do have some self respect and they want to score ladies, and to do that, you have some sense of logic to play the gamer, But, you do see A LOT of girls that can't even stand. Girls are irresponsible with alcohol, once they reach a certain point. They start off drinking but once they pass the threshold, they can't control themselves and this is why you see so many girls getting fucked over or thinking they met the perfect guy (he's just hot, he's an asshole trying to get a beej, trust me ladies.).
I think I went off on a major tangent. Anyways, drunk people wouldn't do half the things they do if they weren't drunk. It's sad to think that people use alcohol as a brace to socialize. I'd rather have one real human contact and experience, then a hundred hazy nights of drunken fun.
Again, this isn't every case. But MOST cases.


But the point is that I don't do this.
Though, after nights like these, I wish I was one of these people.
I wish that I could just drink and get drunk and go out and do anything.
I could, but I chose not to because I don't like imagining myself as I've seen others.
When I used to get drunk, there would always be the moment where I'd think, "Hey, this is stupid, you're going to feel like shit later...", but then someone would pass me another beer or pour me another shot and I'd ignore myself.
I admit, some of those times were fun. Actually, I wouldn't mind going back. It's what everyone is doing. I never see everyone. I miss everyone. I want to be everyone.
I don't want to be at home, staring at my computer, wishing there was someone who was like me and hoping they'd randomly find me and want to hang too. It's so much easier to drink and be drunk. But the fact that getting drunk is what everyone is doing all the time when they have free time doesn't allure me. I wish that people could go bowling, or watch a play, go to a movie, make crafts, anything else, and then perhaps the suggestion of going to the bar will arise. It's always the first choice. I want other choices.


I think I've decided. I'm going to try and have more random fun. I'll take up your offers to go and dance. I'll make a little fool out of myself. But I'll do it on my own terms. I'll tag along, I'll drink, but I will not get drunk. I want to remember everything vividly and clearly becuase when I'm waddling my ass on the dancefloor and we randomly start having a little conversation, I'll be happy knowing even if you won't remember exactly what I said or what I looked like, you were talking to me and not the Corona.

Cheers.